Birrul walidain (Devote to Both Parents)
Allah Ta'ala said,
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا
"... and we have given humanity the right to serve their parents." (Surat al-Ankabut: 8).
عن عبد الله بن مسعود قال سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أي قال بر الوالدين قال ثم أي قال الجهاد في سبيل الله قال حدثني بهن ولو استزدته لزادني.
From Abdullah bin Masud radhiyallahu ‘anhu, he said:" I asked the prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, ‘What charity is most loved by God? '. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Prayers were just in time. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu' anhu asked again: 'Then what other charity?' The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Devote to both parents. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu asked again:' Then what else is charity? The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: 'Jihad in the way of Allah'. (After delivering this hadith) Abdullah nin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu said: "It has been told to me from Rasuluullah sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam these things, if I add a question (to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) certainly will be added to me answer others "(HR. Bukhari)
In this hadith it is mentioned that ‘Abdullah bin Masud radhiyallahu hu anhu - one of the experts in jurisprudence among the Companions - asked the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam,
أَيُّ الْعَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ
"What charity does God love the most?"
Among the answers he delivered were,
بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ
"Devoted to both parents."
In this hadith birrul is also called by the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam after as-shalatu‘ ala waqtiha, and before al-jihadu fi sabilillah. This implies that in addition to as-shalatu q ala waqtiha and al-jihadu fi sabilillah, birrul walidaian is a major charity and needs to be taken seriously by every Muslim.
Imam Athariab rahimahullah said, "Why did the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam only mention these three cases? Because, these three cases are the axis of obedience to others. Because, people who waste the obligatory prayers out of time without any reason that can be accepted, even though it is so light but its great importance, so for other observances, this person will waste even more. People who are not devoted to both parents even though there are so many of their rights, then others will be less filial. Likewise with people who leave jihad against unbelievers even though they are so hostile towards religion, then jihad against people who are not infidels, like the wicked, he will leave more. Thus, it seems clear that who maintains these three cases, he will maintain more for other cases, and who wastes them, for others he will waste even more. "
The meaning of Birrul Walidain
Birrul walidain means good character to walidain (both parents). Al-Birr was interpreted as husnul khuluq (good character) based on the hadith of An-Nawasi Ibn Sim'an Al-Ansari who asked the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam about the meaning of al-birr and al-itsm; he says,
سألت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عن البر والإثم فقال البر حسن الخلق والإثم ما حاك في صدرك وكرهت أن يطلع عليه الناس
"I asked the Apostles about the meaning of al-Bir and al-Itsm. So (the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied:" Al-Birr is good character. While al-Itsm is what appears in your heart, and you yourself are not happy when humans know it. "(Narrated by Muslim).
So, the meaning of birrul walidain at least includes the attitude: al-ihsaanu ilaihima (doing good to both), al-qiyaamu bi huquuqihima (upholding the rights of both), iltizaamu thaa'atihima (commitment to obey both), ijtinaabu isaa-atihima ( keep away from actions that hurt both), and fi'lu maa yurdhiihimaa (do whatever is blessed by both).
Birrul Walidain is the Command of Allah Ta'ala
Regarding birrul although this Allah Ta'ala said,
ووصينا الإنسان بوالديه حسنا وإن جاهداك لتشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تطعهما إلي مرجعكم فأنبئكم بما كنتم تعملون
"And We oblige people (doing) goodness to their parents. And if both of them force you to associate with me with something you don't know about, then don't follow them. Only to me will I return, then I tell you what you have done. "(Surat al-Ankabut: 8)
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا
"... and we have given humanity the right to serve their parents." (Surat al-Ankabut: 8).
عن عبد الله بن مسعود قال سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أي قال بر الوالدين قال ثم أي قال الجهاد في سبيل الله قال حدثني بهن ولو استزدته لزادني.
From Abdullah bin Masud radhiyallahu ‘anhu, he said:" I asked the prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, ‘What charity is most loved by God? '. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Prayers were just in time. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu' anhu asked again: 'Then what other charity?' The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Devote to both parents. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu asked again:' Then what else is charity? The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: 'Jihad in the way of Allah'. (After delivering this hadith) Abdullah nin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu said: "It has been told to me from Rasuluullah sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam these things, if I add a question (to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) certainly will be added to me answer others "(HR. Bukhari)
In this hadith it is mentioned that ‘Abdullah bin Masud radhiyallahu hu anhu - one of the experts in jurisprudence among the Companions - asked the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam,
أَيُّ الْعَمَلِ أَحَبُّ إِلَى اللَّهِ
"What charity does God love the most?"
Among the answers he delivered were,
بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ
"Devoted to both parents."
In this hadith birrul is also called by the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam after as-shalatu‘ ala waqtiha, and before al-jihadu fi sabilillah. This implies that in addition to as-shalatu q ala waqtiha and al-jihadu fi sabilillah, birrul walidaian is a major charity and needs to be taken seriously by every Muslim.
Imam Athariab rahimahullah said, "Why did the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam only mention these three cases? Because, these three cases are the axis of obedience to others. Because, people who waste the obligatory prayers out of time without any reason that can be accepted, even though it is so light but its great importance, so for other observances, this person will waste even more. People who are not devoted to both parents even though there are so many of their rights, then others will be less filial. Likewise with people who leave jihad against unbelievers even though they are so hostile towards religion, then jihad against people who are not infidels, like the wicked, he will leave more. Thus, it seems clear that who maintains these three cases, he will maintain more for other cases, and who wastes them, for others he will waste even more. "
The meaning of Birrul Walidain
Birrul walidain means good character to walidain (both parents). Al-Birr was interpreted as husnul khuluq (good character) based on the hadith of An-Nawasi Ibn Sim'an Al-Ansari who asked the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam about the meaning of al-birr and al-itsm; he says,
سألت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم عن البر والإثم فقال البر حسن الخلق والإثم ما حاك في صدرك وكرهت أن يطلع عليه الناس
"I asked the Apostles about the meaning of al-Bir and al-Itsm. So (the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) replied:" Al-Birr is good character. While al-Itsm is what appears in your heart, and you yourself are not happy when humans know it. "(Narrated by Muslim).
So, the meaning of birrul walidain at least includes the attitude: al-ihsaanu ilaihima (doing good to both), al-qiyaamu bi huquuqihima (upholding the rights of both), iltizaamu thaa'atihima (commitment to obey both), ijtinaabu isaa-atihima ( keep away from actions that hurt both), and fi'lu maa yurdhiihimaa (do whatever is blessed by both).
Birrul Walidain is the Command of Allah Ta'ala
Regarding birrul although this Allah Ta'ala said,
ووصينا الإنسان بوالديه حسنا وإن جاهداك لتشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تطعهما إلي مرجعكم فأنبئكم بما كنتم تعملون
"And We oblige people (doing) goodness to their parents. And if both of them force you to associate with me with something you don't know about, then don't follow them. Only to me will I return, then I tell you what you have done. "(Surat al-Ankabut: 8)
Because the descent of this verse is related to the incident of Sa'ad bin Abu Waqas radhiyallahu ‘anhu when he converted to Islam. He was one of the companions of the Prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam who included as-sabiqunal awwalun; His mother was named Hamnah binti Abu Sufyan. After Hamnah learned that Sa'ad was secretly embracing Islam, the mother was not at all willing to abandon her idolatry. He protested Sa'ad's actions and swore, "Hai Sa'ad, what religion have you just followed? For God's sake I will not eat or drink until you return to your ancestral religion. Or am I willing to die while you bear shame all the time because you abandoned our religion? You must be branded as a murderer of your own mother. "
Hamnah then did not eat and drink for a day and night in the hope that his son would return to apostasy from Islam. Sa'ad apparently ignored the protest from his mother. On another day Hamnah left eating and drinking. At that time Saad came to see his mother and said, "My mother, if you have one hundred lives, and that life comes out of your body one by one, I still will not leave my belief" Sa'ad said firmly, "Whatever the mother, what mother want to eat or not ". Finally Hamnah despaired, there was no hope that his child would turn to idolatry. Because he can't stand, he finally eats and drinks as usual. The event was perpetuated by Allah Ta'ala by lowering the verse above. Allah Ta'ala justifies Sa'ad's actions, which are still doing good to parents, but may not follow his willingness to do shirk.
Hamnah then did not eat and drink for a day and night in the hope that his son would return to apostasy from Islam. Sa'ad apparently ignored the protest from his mother. On another day Hamnah left eating and drinking. At that time Saad came to see his mother and said, "My mother, if you have one hundred lives, and that life comes out of your body one by one, I still will not leave my belief" Sa'ad said firmly, "Whatever the mother, what mother want to eat or not ". Finally Hamnah despaired, there was no hope that his child would turn to idolatry. Because he can't stand, he finally eats and drinks as usual. The event was perpetuated by Allah Ta'ala by lowering the verse above. Allah Ta'ala justifies Sa'ad's actions, which are still doing good to parents, but may not follow his willingness to do shirk.
Regarding obedient prohibitions to anyone if invited to commit adultery to Allah Ta'ala mentioned in the hadith,
لاَ طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوْقٍ فِيْ مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِقِ
"It must not be obedient to beings (humans) in disobeying Khaliq." (H.R. Ahmad and Hakim)
Targhib fi Birril Walidain (Motivation about Birrul Walidain)
First, Birrul walidain included the morals of the prophets.
Allah Ta'ala calls Prophet Yahya bin Zakariya ‘alaihimas salam with the phrase,
وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ وَلَمْ يَكُنْ جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا
"And a person who is devoted to his parents, and not he who is arrogant and rebellious." (Surah Maryam: 14)
Also tells about the Prophet Isa ‘alaihis greetings with the phrase,
قال إني عبد الله آتاني الكتاب وجعلني نبيا وجعلني مباركا أين ما كنت ما دمت حيا وبرا بوالدتي ولم يجعلني جبارا شقيا
"Saying Isa: 'Verily I am a servant of Allah, He gave me the Book (the Gospel) and He made me a prophet, and He made me a blessed wherever I was, and He commanded me (to establish) prayer and (fulfill) zakat as long as I live; devote to my mother, and He does not make me an arrogant and wretched person. '"(Surah Maryam: 30-32)
Secondly, Birrul is more important than jihad.
Abdullah bin Ash he said,
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِىِّ - صلى الله عليه وسلم - فَاسْتَأْذَنَهُ فِى الْجِهَادِ فَقَالَ أَحَىٌّ وَالِدَاكَ. قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ فَفِيهِمَا فَجَاهِدْ
"A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wasallam then asked him to jihad. So he said, ‘Are your parents still alive?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ He also said, ‘Then be sincere in serving both of them.’ ”(Narrated by Al Bukhari and Muslim)
أَقْبَلَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى نَبِىِّ اللَّهِ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- فَقَالَ أُبَايِعُكَ عَلَى الْهِجْرَةِ وَالْجِهَادِ أَبْتَغِى الأَجْرَ مِنَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ فَهَلْ مِنْ وَالِدَيْكَ أَحَدٌ حَىٌّ. قَالَ نَعَمْ بَلْ كِلاَهُمَا. قَالَ فَتَبْتَغِى الأَجْرَ مِنَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ فَارْجِعْ إِلَى وَالِدَيْكَ فَأَحْسِنْ صُحْبَتَهُمَا
A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam then said, "I bless you to emigrate and jihad, I expect merit from Allah." He asked, "Is one of your parents still alive?" He replied, " Yes, even both of them are still alive. "The Prophet asked again," Then are you still going to seek reward from Allah? "He replied," Yes. "So he said," Go home to your parents and do good in associating them. " (Narrated by Muslim)
أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئت أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم قال فالزمها فإن الجنة تحت رجليها
Jahimah once came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam then said, "O Messenger of Allah, I want to fight and really I come to ask for your opinion." He asked, "Do you still have a mother?" He replied, "Yes." said, "Stay with him because in fact heaven is on his feet." (Narrated by Ibn Majah and An Nasa'i)
لاَ طَاعَةَ لِمَخْلُوْقٍ فِيْ مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِقِ
"It must not be obedient to beings (humans) in disobeying Khaliq." (H.R. Ahmad and Hakim)
Targhib fi Birril Walidain (Motivation about Birrul Walidain)
First, Birrul walidain included the morals of the prophets.
Allah Ta'ala calls Prophet Yahya bin Zakariya ‘alaihimas salam with the phrase,
وَبَرًّا بِوَالِدَيْهِ وَلَمْ يَكُنْ جَبَّارًا عَصِيًّا
"And a person who is devoted to his parents, and not he who is arrogant and rebellious." (Surah Maryam: 14)
Also tells about the Prophet Isa ‘alaihis greetings with the phrase,
قال إني عبد الله آتاني الكتاب وجعلني نبيا وجعلني مباركا أين ما كنت ما دمت حيا وبرا بوالدتي ولم يجعلني جبارا شقيا
"Saying Isa: 'Verily I am a servant of Allah, He gave me the Book (the Gospel) and He made me a prophet, and He made me a blessed wherever I was, and He commanded me (to establish) prayer and (fulfill) zakat as long as I live; devote to my mother, and He does not make me an arrogant and wretched person. '"(Surah Maryam: 30-32)
Secondly, Birrul is more important than jihad.
Abdullah bin Ash he said,
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِىِّ - صلى الله عليه وسلم - فَاسْتَأْذَنَهُ فِى الْجِهَادِ فَقَالَ أَحَىٌّ وَالِدَاكَ. قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ فَفِيهِمَا فَجَاهِدْ
"A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wasallam then asked him to jihad. So he said, ‘Are your parents still alive?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ He also said, ‘Then be sincere in serving both of them.’ ”(Narrated by Al Bukhari and Muslim)
أَقْبَلَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى نَبِىِّ اللَّهِ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- فَقَالَ أُبَايِعُكَ عَلَى الْهِجْرَةِ وَالْجِهَادِ أَبْتَغِى الأَجْرَ مِنَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ فَهَلْ مِنْ وَالِدَيْكَ أَحَدٌ حَىٌّ. قَالَ نَعَمْ بَلْ كِلاَهُمَا. قَالَ فَتَبْتَغِى الأَجْرَ مِنَ اللَّهِ. قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ فَارْجِعْ إِلَى وَالِدَيْكَ فَأَحْسِنْ صُحْبَتَهُمَا
A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam then said, "I bless you to emigrate and jihad, I expect merit from Allah." He asked, "Is one of your parents still alive?" He replied, " Yes, even both of them are still alive. "The Prophet asked again," Then are you still going to seek reward from Allah? "He replied," Yes. "So he said," Go home to your parents and do good in associating them. " (Narrated by Muslim)
أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئت أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم قال فالزمها فإن الجنة تحت رجليها
Jahimah once came to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam then said, "O Messenger of Allah, I want to fight and really I come to ask for your opinion." He asked, "Do you still have a mother?" He replied, "Yes." said, "Stay with him because in fact heaven is on his feet." (Narrated by Ibn Majah and An Nasa'i)
Third, both parents are the families who are most entitled to be treated well.
From Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu, he said,
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ - صلى الله عليه وسلم - فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ صَحَابَتِى قَالَ «أُمُّكَ». قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أُمُّكَ». قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أُمُّكَ». قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «ثُمَّ أَبُوكَ»
"A man once came to the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam then said, ‘Who is my best relative who has the right to do good?’ He said sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,‘ Your mother ’. He said again, ‘Then who else?’ He said sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, Dia Your mother. ’He said again, all Then who else?’ He said sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, ‘Your Mother’. He said again, ‘Then who else?’ He said sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,‘ Ayahmu ’.” (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
An Nawawi rahimahullah said, "In this hadith there is an urge to do good to relatives and mothers more important in this matter, then after that is father, then after that are other relatives. The scholars say that the mother is preferred because of the fatigue she experiences, the outpouring of her attention to her children, and her dedication. Especially when she is pregnant, giving birth (the maternity process), when breastfeeding, and also when educating her children to adulthood. "(Syarh Muslim, 8/331)
The same thing is mentioned in the hadith from Al Miqdam bin Ma'dikarib, that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ ثَلَاثًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِآبَائِكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالْأَقْرَبِ فَالْأَقْرَبِ
"Surely Allah has revealed to you to worship your mothers - to say up to three times - to worship your fathers, to devote to your relatives, then to relatives who are even closer." (Narrated by Ibn Majah)
Fourth, it is still mandatory for birrul walidain even though they are classified as polytheists.
At the beginning of this treatise, it was stated about Sa'ad bin Abi Waqash, Allah Ta'ala justified Sa'ad's actions, namely to continue to do good to parents, but not to follow his willingness to do shirk.
Other hadiths which mention the ability to do good to idolatrous parents can we know from the following history,
عن أسماء بنت أبي بكر قالت قدمت علي أمي وهي مشركة في عهد قريش إذ عاهدهم فاستفتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقلت يا رسول الله قدمت علي أمي وهي راغبة أفأصل أمي قال نعم صلي أمك
From Asma` binti Abu Bakar he said, "(When there was a ceasefire with the Quraysh) my mother came to me who was still idolatrous. Then I asked the opinion of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, I asked,‘ O Messenger of Allah, my mother came to me because I miss me. Can I establish a relationship with my mother? 'He replied,' Yes, connect with your mother. '' (Narrated by Muslim)
Fadhlu Birril Walidain (Primacy of Birrul Walidain)
First, Birrul also includes charity loved by Allah Ta'ala. The hadith at the beginning of this treatise shows this very clearly.
عن عبد الله بن مسعود قال سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أي قال بر الوالدين قال ثم أي قال الجهاد في سبيل الله قال حدثني بهن ولو استزدته لزادني.
From Abdullah bin Masud radhiyallahu ‘anhu, he said:" I asked the prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, ‘What charity is most loved by God? '. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Prayers were just in time. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu' anhu asked again: 'Then what other charity?' The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Devote to both parents. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu asked again:' Then what else is charity? The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: 'Jihad in the way of Allah'. (After delivering this hadith) Abdullah nin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu said: "It has been told to me from Rasuluullah sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam these things, if I add a question (to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) certainly will be added to me answer others "(HR. Bukhari)
From Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu, he said,
جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللَّهِ - صلى الله عليه وسلم - فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَنْ أَحَقُّ بِحُسْنِ صَحَابَتِى قَالَ «أُمُّكَ». قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أُمُّكَ». قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «أُمُّكَ». قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ قَالَ «ثُمَّ أَبُوكَ»
"A man once came to the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam then said, ‘Who is my best relative who has the right to do good?’ He said sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,‘ Your mother ’. He said again, ‘Then who else?’ He said sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, Dia Your mother. ’He said again, all Then who else?’ He said sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, ‘Your Mother’. He said again, ‘Then who else?’ He said sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,‘ Ayahmu ’.” (Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)
An Nawawi rahimahullah said, "In this hadith there is an urge to do good to relatives and mothers more important in this matter, then after that is father, then after that are other relatives. The scholars say that the mother is preferred because of the fatigue she experiences, the outpouring of her attention to her children, and her dedication. Especially when she is pregnant, giving birth (the maternity process), when breastfeeding, and also when educating her children to adulthood. "(Syarh Muslim, 8/331)
The same thing is mentioned in the hadith from Al Miqdam bin Ma'dikarib, that the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ ثَلَاثًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِآبَائِكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالْأَقْرَبِ فَالْأَقْرَبِ
"Surely Allah has revealed to you to worship your mothers - to say up to three times - to worship your fathers, to devote to your relatives, then to relatives who are even closer." (Narrated by Ibn Majah)
Fourth, it is still mandatory for birrul walidain even though they are classified as polytheists.
At the beginning of this treatise, it was stated about Sa'ad bin Abi Waqash, Allah Ta'ala justified Sa'ad's actions, namely to continue to do good to parents, but not to follow his willingness to do shirk.
Other hadiths which mention the ability to do good to idolatrous parents can we know from the following history,
عن أسماء بنت أبي بكر قالت قدمت علي أمي وهي مشركة في عهد قريش إذ عاهدهم فاستفتيت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقلت يا رسول الله قدمت علي أمي وهي راغبة أفأصل أمي قال نعم صلي أمك
From Asma` binti Abu Bakar he said, "(When there was a ceasefire with the Quraysh) my mother came to me who was still idolatrous. Then I asked the opinion of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, I asked,‘ O Messenger of Allah, my mother came to me because I miss me. Can I establish a relationship with my mother? 'He replied,' Yes, connect with your mother. '' (Narrated by Muslim)
Fadhlu Birril Walidain (Primacy of Birrul Walidain)
First, Birrul also includes charity loved by Allah Ta'ala. The hadith at the beginning of this treatise shows this very clearly.
عن عبد الله بن مسعود قال سألت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أي العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أي قال بر الوالدين قال ثم أي قال الجهاد في سبيل الله قال حدثني بهن ولو استزدته لزادني.
From Abdullah bin Masud radhiyallahu ‘anhu, he said:" I asked the prophet sallallaahu aih alaihi wa sallam, ‘What charity is most loved by God? '. The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Prayers were just in time. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu' anhu asked again: 'Then what other charity?' The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied:' Devote to both parents. 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu asked again:' Then what else is charity? The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam replied: 'Jihad in the way of Allah'. (After delivering this hadith) Abdullah nin Mas'ud radhiyallahu 'anhu said: "It has been told to me from Rasuluullah sallallaahu' alaihi wa sallam these things, if I add a question (to the Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) certainly will be added to me answer others "(HR. Bukhari)
Secondly, Birrul is a cause of forgiveness of great sins.
أَتَى النَّبِىَّ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّى أَصَبْتُ ذَنْبًا عَظِيمًا فَهَلْ لِى مِنْ تَوْبَةٍ قَالَ هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُمٍّ. قَالَ لاَ. قَالَ هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ خَالَةٍ. قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ فَبِرَّهَا
A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam then said," Indeed I have committed one very big sin. Can I repent? "He asked," Do you still have a mother? "He replied," No. "He asked again," Do you still have aunt (mother sister)? "He replied," Yes. "So he said, "Be devoted to him." (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
Thirdly, Birrul has become one of the reasons for the increase in age and added rizki.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
مَن سَرَّهُ أَنْ يُمَدَّ لَهُ فِى عُمْرِهِ وَيُزَادَ لَهُ فِى رِزْقِهِ فَلْيَبَرَّ وَالِدَيْهِ وَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
"Who wants to extend his age and increase his sustenance, then let him serve his parents and connect with friendship" (Narrated by Ahmad)
Fourth, Birrul Walidain is one form of obedience to Allah Ta'ala and is the cause of the attainment of pleasure.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
طَاعَةُ اللَّهِ طَاعَةُ الْوَالِدِ ، وَمَعْصِيَةُ اللَّهِ مَعْصِيَةُ الْوَالِدِ
"Obeying God (one form) is obedient to parents. Durhaka against Allah (one of its forms) is lawlessness to parents "(HR. Thabrani)
رِضَا الرَّبِّ فِى رِضَا الْوَالِدِ وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِى سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ
"The pleasure of God is in the parents' pleasure and God's wrath is in the wrath of the parents" (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
Fifth, Birrul Walidain is one of the charities that deliver to heaven.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
«رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ». قِيلَ مَنْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ «مَنْ أَدْرَكَ وَالِدَيْهِ عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ أَحَدَهُمَا أَوْ كِلَيْهِمَا ثُمَّ لَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ»
"Really insulted, truly insulted, truly insulted." Someone asked, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "(Really despicable) one who found both of his parents who were still alive or one of them when they were old, but instead, he did not enter heaven. "(Narrated by Muslim)
الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ فَإِنْ شِئْتَ فَأَضِعْ ذَلِكَ الْبَابَ أَوِ احْفَظْهُ
"The old man is the middle of the gates of heaven. If you want, waste the door (you don't get heaven) or keep it (to get the door to heaven). "(Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
Elements of Birrul Walidain
When we want to serve both parents, there are elements of attitudes and morals that we must fulfill, namely:
First, al-muhafadhatu ‘alal qaul (maintaining speech)
A child should maintain and maintain his speech in the presence of parents, especially those who are elderly; do not let the words or actions offend them, as explained by Allah Ta'ala,
وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه وبالوالدين إحسانا إما يبلغن عندك الكبر أحدهما أو كلاهما فلا تقل لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وقل لهما قولا كريما
"And your Lord has commanded that you do not worship other than Him, and do your best to your father as well as you can. If one of the two or both of them reaches old age in your care, then never say to both the words "ah" and do not yell at them and say to them noble words. "(Surat al-Isra, 17: 23)
Second, al-khafdhul janaah (degrading 'wings', ie being polite).
Gestur of a child should show humility to his parents with great affection and pray for them so that they are loved by God Ta'ala.
Allah Ta'ala said,
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
"And humble yourselves against them both with great affection and say: ai O my Lord, love them both, as they both have educated me as a child '" (Surat al-Isra, 17: 24)
أَتَى النَّبِىَّ -صلى الله عليه وسلم- فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنِّى أَصَبْتُ ذَنْبًا عَظِيمًا فَهَلْ لِى مِنْ تَوْبَةٍ قَالَ هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ أُمٍّ. قَالَ لاَ. قَالَ هَلْ لَكَ مِنْ خَالَةٍ. قَالَ نَعَمْ. قَالَ فَبِرَّهَا
A man came to the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam then said," Indeed I have committed one very big sin. Can I repent? "He asked," Do you still have a mother? "He replied," No. "He asked again," Do you still have aunt (mother sister)? "He replied," Yes. "So he said, "Be devoted to him." (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
Thirdly, Birrul has become one of the reasons for the increase in age and added rizki.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
مَن سَرَّهُ أَنْ يُمَدَّ لَهُ فِى عُمْرِهِ وَيُزَادَ لَهُ فِى رِزْقِهِ فَلْيَبَرَّ وَالِدَيْهِ وَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
"Who wants to extend his age and increase his sustenance, then let him serve his parents and connect with friendship" (Narrated by Ahmad)
Fourth, Birrul Walidain is one form of obedience to Allah Ta'ala and is the cause of the attainment of pleasure.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
طَاعَةُ اللَّهِ طَاعَةُ الْوَالِدِ ، وَمَعْصِيَةُ اللَّهِ مَعْصِيَةُ الْوَالِدِ
"Obeying God (one form) is obedient to parents. Durhaka against Allah (one of its forms) is lawlessness to parents "(HR. Thabrani)
رِضَا الرَّبِّ فِى رِضَا الْوَالِدِ وَسَخَطُ الرَّبِّ فِى سَخَطِ الْوَالِدِ
"The pleasure of God is in the parents' pleasure and God's wrath is in the wrath of the parents" (Narrated by Tirmidhi)
Fifth, Birrul Walidain is one of the charities that deliver to heaven.
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
«رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ ثُمَّ رَغِمَ أَنْفُهُ». قِيلَ مَنْ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ «مَنْ أَدْرَكَ وَالِدَيْهِ عِنْدَ الْكِبَرِ أَحَدَهُمَا أَوْ كِلَيْهِمَا ثُمَّ لَمْ يَدْخُلِ الْجَنَّةَ»
"Really insulted, truly insulted, truly insulted." Someone asked, "Who, O Messenger of Allah?" He said, "(Really despicable) one who found both of his parents who were still alive or one of them when they were old, but instead, he did not enter heaven. "(Narrated by Muslim)
الْوَالِدُ أَوْسَطُ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّةِ فَإِنْ شِئْتَ فَأَضِعْ ذَلِكَ الْبَابَ أَوِ احْفَظْهُ
"The old man is the middle of the gates of heaven. If you want, waste the door (you don't get heaven) or keep it (to get the door to heaven). "(Narrated by Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)
Elements of Birrul Walidain
When we want to serve both parents, there are elements of attitudes and morals that we must fulfill, namely:
First, al-muhafadhatu ‘alal qaul (maintaining speech)
A child should maintain and maintain his speech in the presence of parents, especially those who are elderly; do not let the words or actions offend them, as explained by Allah Ta'ala,
وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه وبالوالدين إحسانا إما يبلغن عندك الكبر أحدهما أو كلاهما فلا تقل لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وقل لهما قولا كريما
"And your Lord has commanded that you do not worship other than Him, and do your best to your father as well as you can. If one of the two or both of them reaches old age in your care, then never say to both the words "ah" and do not yell at them and say to them noble words. "(Surat al-Isra, 17: 23)
Second, al-khafdhul janaah (degrading 'wings', ie being polite).
Gestur of a child should show humility to his parents with great affection and pray for them so that they are loved by God Ta'ala.
Allah Ta'ala said,
وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
"And humble yourselves against them both with great affection and say: ai O my Lord, love them both, as they both have educated me as a child '" (Surat al-Isra, 17: 24)
Third, at-tha’atul mushahabah (obedient and familiar)
A child should instill obedience and familiarity with both parents. Whenever forced to obey it too — because the second commandment leads to immorality — the attitude of the mushahabah (familiarity) must still be maintained. Allah Ta'ala said,
وإن جاهداك على أن تشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تطعهما وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفا واتبع سبيل من أناب إلي ثم إلي مرجعكم فأنبئكم بما كنتم تعملون
"And if both of them compel you to associate with me something that you do not know about, then do not follow both, and associate both of them in the world well, and follow the way of those who return to Me, then only unto Me return to you what you have done. "(Surah Luqman, 31:15)
Fourth, tsabatul birri ba’da wafatihima (still devoted after both died).
We are still obliged to serve both parents even though both have died. In Al-Qur'an it is stated that Allah Ta'ala gives an opportunity to humans to have good deeds after their death which can be obtained from their pious and pious children.
وَأَنْ لَيْسَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ َّلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ وَأَنَّ سَعْيَهُ سَوْفَ يُرَىٰ ثُمَّ يُجْزَاهُ الْجَزَاءَ الْأَوْفَىٰ
"... and that a man has no gain other than what he has worked on, and that this endeavor will be shown (to him). Then he will be rewarded with the most perfect reply ... "(Surah An-Najm verse, 53: 39-41)
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ وَعِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ وَوَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ
"If someone dies, the practice is cut off except for three cases (ie): alms fingerprinting, knowledge that is used, or the prayer of a pious child" (Narrated by Muslim)
Also narrated from Abu Usaid Malik bin Rabi'ah As-Sa'idi, he said,
بينا نحن عند رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- إذا جاءه رجل من بنى سلمة فقال يا رسول الله هل بقى من بر أبوى شىء أبرهما به بعد موتهما قال «نعم الصلاة عليهما والاستغفار لهما وإنفاذ عهدهما من بعدهما وصلة الرحم التى لا توصل إلا بهما وإكرام صَدِيقِهِمَا ».
"One time we were on the side of the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam. When there came someone from the Banu Salimah, he said, 'O Messenger of Allah, is there still a form of worship to my parents when they died?' The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied,' Yes (ie by) praying for both , asking forgiveness for both, fulfilling their promises after passing away, establishing a relationship of friendship (kinship) with the families of the two parents who never intertwined and glorified their close friends. '"(Narrated by Abu Daud and Ibn Majah)
A child should instill obedience and familiarity with both parents. Whenever forced to obey it too — because the second commandment leads to immorality — the attitude of the mushahabah (familiarity) must still be maintained. Allah Ta'ala said,
وإن جاهداك على أن تشرك بي ما ليس لك به علم فلا تطعهما وصاحبهما في الدنيا معروفا واتبع سبيل من أناب إلي ثم إلي مرجعكم فأنبئكم بما كنتم تعملون
"And if both of them compel you to associate with me something that you do not know about, then do not follow both, and associate both of them in the world well, and follow the way of those who return to Me, then only unto Me return to you what you have done. "(Surah Luqman, 31:15)
Fourth, tsabatul birri ba’da wafatihima (still devoted after both died).
We are still obliged to serve both parents even though both have died. In Al-Qur'an it is stated that Allah Ta'ala gives an opportunity to humans to have good deeds after their death which can be obtained from their pious and pious children.
وَأَنْ لَيْسَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ َّلَّا مَا سَعَىٰ وَأَنَّ سَعْيَهُ سَوْفَ يُرَىٰ ثُمَّ يُجْزَاهُ الْجَزَاءَ الْأَوْفَىٰ
"... and that a man has no gain other than what he has worked on, and that this endeavor will be shown (to him). Then he will be rewarded with the most perfect reply ... "(Surah An-Najm verse, 53: 39-41)
The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said,
إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلَاثَةٍ مِنْ صَدَقَةٍ وَعِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ وَوَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُو لَهُ
"If someone dies, the practice is cut off except for three cases (ie): alms fingerprinting, knowledge that is used, or the prayer of a pious child" (Narrated by Muslim)
Also narrated from Abu Usaid Malik bin Rabi'ah As-Sa'idi, he said,
بينا نحن عند رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم- إذا جاءه رجل من بنى سلمة فقال يا رسول الله هل بقى من بر أبوى شىء أبرهما به بعد موتهما قال «نعم الصلاة عليهما والاستغفار لهما وإنفاذ عهدهما من بعدهما وصلة الرحم التى لا توصل إلا بهما وإكرام صَدِيقِهِمَا ».
"One time we were on the side of the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam. When there came someone from the Banu Salimah, he said, 'O Messenger of Allah, is there still a form of worship to my parents when they died?' The Prophet sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam replied,' Yes (ie by) praying for both , asking forgiveness for both, fulfilling their promises after passing away, establishing a relationship of friendship (kinship) with the families of the two parents who never intertwined and glorified their close friends. '"(Narrated by Abu Daud and Ibn Majah)
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